Sunday 25 January 2009

i perfromed art?

ART ("F" U) dahlgren/
EGGTOOTH's performance at eyedrum went.
The division began between himself and you,the artists. The individuals yearning to express themselves, earnest desires to share. The division viewed from certain angles exists. The eyes of others,the intent of others. The words flowed from a point, from a place in time.
Somewhere between self absorbed and caring about others.
Please take note of the room you are in right now. Listen to the sound of my washing machine in the background that you cannot hear. Please be aware of the moment I took to write this and judge it for what it is. my moment. There truly is an amazing no-significance to it.
=Welcome to the internet=
Welcome to a gallery space. In the flesh. Art is where you find it.
Where real people with real names approach you and say hello.
Let me divide myself, let me flow and then saw myself in half. Edit myself and perfect myself for you. It is my own challenge I have exposed in this day and age, I've met you or walked past you, perhaps sat next to you in traffic. Perhaps typed you an anonymous e-mail or read the same book as you. Perhaps i remembered and forgot the same things you remembered and forgot in the same books. Perhaps the intent I brought to your writing mirrored mine. We read and write,speak and talk, mutter to ourselves,or pets, our family,our phones,our electric devices.
Acetate clearly ripples around my heart, I beat on it and cower from the perceptions I have of myself. Oscillating rollercoaster, I am my own number one fan. I have fans and they blow.
Through me and across the front, my heritage shows, the path I took to get here - is covered in my writings.
My own words follow me and shove me into being who?
Am I a character of myself for you? How do I give you who iIam? There's only one way. It has to be clunky. It has to be awkward. No shield between the two. Only the moment created to observe and that perception is mostly defined by you. not me. Creating in this day and age, is very much like any other. Of course. But the individual. aaah. The once elevated as it is a blur. a release of emotion. For who to care..I mean,truly? I know better.
And i give it to you freely.
And then my own hostility exposes me in a tiring loop, the cycle that brings me back to self love. Doing what you do because you enjoy it.
Unlike right now, I seek the usb cable to connect my camera to this computer,this computer that does not belong to me, that has connnected me to so many. This extension of me, these keys I pound, the mild yellow hostility I cannot control, freaking desires I must let go of,due to knowing my own will, my own limitations, my own weaknesses.
My ultimate strength will be to admit that I am just me. Swinging and having moments where it is happy. But my god, they seem less and less the more I think I know as some sort of aged creature.
I cannot find the connection, the visual to give you, to put in your head. I cannot find my own visual, and when i do see myself, i prefer what i saw in my own mind. This stage is as real as my mouth. The standing toe to toe actionof communication. If I were beautiful, it would be easy to just strut and smile. Is that so? I stand here and stare back at you.
How to focus all of my devotion on caring about the intimacies of others creations,or the surface moment of just the act itself.
I dont know,but I will work on my technique and I will continue to call myself an artist as much as I am just me.
Just Eggtooth. Just Jeff Dahlgren. I seek to share nothing more than my own mundane explorations,in a day and age when the mundane,the normal, that is the thing to breath an invisible famous life of obscurity into. Of a perceptioon of yourself that is about community,family and love. To Share and to challenge one another? and measure that challenge?..or is that because I watched too much television?
Is it thinking too much if it is turned into an single action? A performance. A thing. A moment.
as sacred as Refrigerator art with your mother - a society that gave birth to you. It has love to give you if you sense it. You just have to be willing to give it back. To everyone.
I did not perform. You did.
But you know this all to very well.

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