Wednesday 28 January 2009


everybody lies sometimes.
but i dont.
not me.
i never lie.
spoken stuff makes itself real, like time does to reading your own words-
hearing your own voice. and then there is the flesh of the self observed.
through whose eyes? time to jiggle yr way thru another set. schleffing off the delusion. trudging up a hill of embarrassment. seeing yrself. no clearer image of where your mind is at, the frustration of having no choice but to remember and clearly relate, and now, to understand with an exposed gut shuddering revulsion
seeing yrself as you really are.
this is the last thing i will ever do.
this thing i do now in its broken pieces is a duty, to show myself to myself.
look clearly at others as well.
what is it you expect? are they measured against some scripted idea of interesting? are they ,the world, there to amuse you? challenge you? love you? lie to you? tell you what you want to hear? tell you what they want to hear?

honest vomit from the heart not the stomach
okay jeff stand up and speak. there's a purpose to this exposure.
(but what are you going to say? is it going to be narrative? )
are you going to read off this sheet of paper the whole time?
whats the order of sequences?
stand up from sitting in say za.
SPEAK! establish conflict right off the cuff.

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If you think you think you should heed the warning of your mother and sister and not risk uncertain sorcery,turn to page 25


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