Monday 2 February 2009

I thought Christians view human life, the physical life, as innately evil.anything of this earth is of human desire. the soul is pure. original sin and all that. can only admit we are imperfect and in doing so, also accept that God sent Christ to forgive us of our sins. by accepting Him, physical body becomes motivated to strive for best it can do while it is here.which is supposed to be nothing relative to eternity.
i remember my brother becoming motivated to break all his ac/dc, adam ant, kenny rodgers and devo albums...secular music does not glorify God.
thats the tricky loop of it to me. technically, we are forgiven and going to heaven just by admitting Jesus was sent by God and acceping him in our heart as Lord and saviour....the rest is man made and really don't matter.
so i guess the two you refer to do coincide.even the practice of the religion itself and all its phases of change are man made.i might have left some amazing stuff out that i am sure somebody would be glad to fill in. just frustrates me that caring for others gets turned into judgement of others. i had to go to this christmas play of my grandmother's in snellville and the preacher stood up after the play and preached for a sec. it had been some time since i'd seen a preacher doin his thing. what was funny was it reminded me of artists i know. tryin to get their message across. tryin to reach people. passionate. meaning well. frustrated at being ignored and how blind people can be.but happy when they reach somebody.needing money but wanting to be "principled" about it. very persistant.
There's no chinking the armour of a Christian's loop of logic. they will right off anything they think misrepresents them, as of man, not of the message. not of God's will. hence the bumper sticker "im not perfect, just forgiven"
i think human nature, when it gets down to it acts on instinct..without judgement, actually. something that can be perceived as either good or evil depending on timing and vantage. BUT.. i do believe in a spirit and God, and it reveals itself to my through art sometimes. sometimes. the act of creation and all that. they say in portraits, babies are the hardest thing to do. hard to capture...i can see that. i can see it being explained biologically, but i'd like to believe it is cuz they are closer to some sort of purity.
i dunno...i did this free thing at young blood last night, right? why..i don't know.i work in signage. also,why... i don't know. i make paintings motivated by good intentions and show them in a way that i feel is personalized. i see others out there doin it. when they speak of their work, like this guy Jody I met, nice guy, but the whole time i am talking to him and he's realing off all these venues and the percentages they do and dont take,im thinking about his cute acrylic turtles and his replications of the Superman logos covered in Behr Polyeurathane.. meanwhile the walls are covered with Juxtapoz schtuff. Good stuff, but its the usual thing since the dawn of freakin time: Impressionism gets big, you get copy cats, ab-ex gets get copy cats. gallery owners having to be brief with people, have this distance, having to show stuff that sells. The strangest thing though, was seeing this girl walk in, tall and lanky blond and very familiar looking. Im racking my brain,
right? where have i scene this person?? then i realized... a tv show (i watch tv sometimes) it's this girl from a sex change show on cable that i saw. I remember it was the girl that was having to figure out how not to be so touchy feely with her friends. wanted to say something to her to the effect of admiration for her balls, i mean...confidence., but she was gone when i came back inside. The end of men? im having a moral dilemma. this is relevant, guys. i promise. i think my work is a horrible insult to mankind.
Now i am thinking i want to do what i do to help others and do it for free. slow down. prify my actions by minimizing my desires. if i give a homeles person money, my intentions are good, what they do with it is their responsibility, right? yeah...whatever. I wanna make beautiful things... maybe i will join this place called Blood and Fire where my friend Rose works.rehabiltates less fortunates, helps them get on their feet. but i aint no christian. so to heck with that. maybe i do believe in the devil and it is the apocalypse. now. maybe this is the best i have to offer.Man.. people actually craned their necks AROUND my paintings to see the Juxtapoz on the wall behind it. they were groovy little detailed pieces, true. but, man. i am not gonna is a relative thing.
but i will stop this. sorry it wasn't full of multi syllabled words or references to derrida or some groovy book review or whatever. i think it is real. buthey iwill mention an art show i am doing. i will be at apache on monday with a piece i did using damar about cancer. the sign, not the disease. Michi freakin got my sign, Leo. da bastid. and im gonna go to a coffee shop next to Wuxtry in decatur tomorrow (saturday the 7th) and Ho myself out like the art Ho i is.also got paintings in Raging Burrito in decatur and have had them there since the mesozoic era.pleistocene? i dunno.hey... plagioclase feldspar. zygomycota. blood enters the heart through the superior and inferior vena cava and become distended in the oh rose thou art SICK! YOU INVISIBLE WORM, YOU.
so come on out. im broke. my paintings are great! they suck! its existential. its schroedenger's paint brush. stuck in my bottom freakin givin them away. tell your rich friend moving into Atlantic Station to swing on by.
i hate all of you.
(actually, whether or not my paintings suck is subjective, cuz it is art. and you might not know this, but art is a subjective thing..) i dig em.
ok,well i guess it's off topic(??!)

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